Your Toastmasters' Experience

(With acknowledgement to Tamala Takahashi)

Here are a few suggestions to make your Toastmasters experience the best it can be when you are starting out a little less than confident when speaking up in front of a group, at work, or with strangers.

1. Pick a Toastmasters club that feels right. If you go to a Toastmasters club and you feel intimidated, or overlooked, try a different club. The program is designed very well, but every club uses the program differently. Find a club where you feel comfortable and safe from the beginning. And don't be afraid to switch clubs if your current club is no longer meeting your needs.

2. Participate in every meeting in some way. Start with ballot counter or timer - the smaller roles - first. Then work your way up to Toastmaster after 4 or 5 months. Make sure you speak at every meeting in some way.

3. Do your ice breaker as soon as you can. That is the first speech in the program. Then dedicate yourself to doing a speech every 3-4 meetings.

4. Work with your mentor. If you aren't assigned a mentor, ask to have one. If you are not totally comfortable with your mentor, ask someone who you are comfortable with to help you (even if they aren't your official mentor). Having someone who will work one-on-one with you makes a big difference.

5. After a few months, participate in the speech contests. This is a great way to try something hard in a safe place. After you've participated in a speech contest, "regular" speeches are easier.

6. Don't stop after you feel like you've made progress. Keep going through the program. Many people find after a few months, they start to get some legs and feel much better speaking up. Don't be fooled that this first success is all you need! Getting over the first "hump" of shyness is just the beginning. The real, significant, life changes happen after you've moved into the advanced manuals and leadership projects. I've learned more as District Governor than I have at any level of my experience as a Toastmaster.

7. Keep up with the leadership side of the program. Even though you may be focusing on the speaking as a way to overcome shyness, the truth is, the leadership side of the program does far more to bring about confidence than the speaking side. Building leadership skills, such as collaboration, delegation, project management, conflict management, and crafting a mission, will benefit you in all aspects of your life. Also, as an introvert, it's easier to work on, to be honest. You can "lead from behind" so to speak. The more leadership skills you practice, the more confident you'll be, and speaking will be easier, because you know "you got this". I finished my leadership projects long before my speaking projects, because as someone who was still developing her extroverted side and getting over shyness, I found the leadership projects to be much more approachable and less daunting.

8. Go to the Toastmasters Leadership Institutes and conferences. These are very low-cost opportunities to learn more about both leadership and public speaking. Go to as many as you can and learn as much as you can.

9. And lastly, as much as you can, if someone asks for help with a club contest, or a membership drive, or something else, say "yes". The more you work together with other toastmasters, you'll build your reputation. Building reputation is a huge confidence booster. Also, having a "job" gives you a higher purpose, and makes it easier to ask for things and be assertive.

Toastmasters is not a magic bullet. However, it's a very good tool for overcoming shyness that has worked for so many people.

And a quick note on shyness vs. introvertism. These are not the same thing. Toastmasters may not change your natural inclination to be an introvert. However, what it will do, is help you learn to be confident in who you are, what you believe, and your skill set. That will serve you well no matter what you do, and no matter how much you lean towards the introverted side.

2nd January 2016 Getting Forgetful

I saw the people downstairs move out. Later I saw the owner of the flat doing some cleaning and I went to talk with him. He said he was moving back here with his elderly parents because Kajang is lonely for the old folks.

His father is 80 and one evening asked him when he was going home. He replied I live here, I am your son.

I hope I don't get that bad when I get to be 80 because then Malaysia would be a developed Nation so they say.

New Year 2016

So how did you celebrate the advent of 2016?

I will tell you what I did.
A friend invited me to a steamboat dinner at one of the chains of stores in town.
At the appointed time I found myself where I thought the dinner would be. Unfortunately I was at leat 10 km away due to a confusion between the locations of Wangsa Maju and Setia Wangsa. You see we don't believe much in Google Maps we'd rather trust our own homing sense.

The upshot was of course I told him it was too late and too far away so I decided to head on home and pick up a Mc Donald Burger on the way.

This mornig he rang up and insisted that since we did not celebrate the coming of the New Year we should at least have a New year lunch and that was what we did. We had lunch at the  Nasi-Lemak-Royal-Kedah and later on retired for coffee and Aple Pie at Panini Café at Desa Pandan.

Kedai labok

Market Labok

I was born quite near this place shown by the above link. For as long as I can remember the it was called Kedai Labok or Market Labok but never was it ever called Pasar as they would in the West Coast.

The West Coast is where the foreigners come from. They come and visit us and speak in funny sounding language. What we call pitih they call duit. Odd people.